


Memories

by secretvixen83



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-17
Updated: 2019-05-17
Packaged: 2020-03-06 17:24:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,088
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18855616
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/secretvixen83/pseuds/secretvixen83
Summary: A few quirks worked out, but Kathryn may be trapped in her own world.





	Memories

That night in her quarters, Kathryn replayed the events of the day. Letting Chakotay in felt wonderful. It felt like she could breathe again. They had been in the Delta Quadrant for 3 years now. Certainly she could trust him? He had been at her side through the worst of it, and the not-so-bad of it. As she slid into her bath, the memory of Audrey’s first bubble bath came back to her. The smell of lavender, the giggles and smiles as Kathryn blew the bubbles from her own hands like clouds. Kathryn closed her eyes and let the tears fall. Silently she wished she had never gone on that date.  
She pushed Audrey’s face from her mind. She dried up her tears. Mark came to her as she closed her eyes. What was it that he had said to her the day she had left? He felt he “bothered her”? Was she THAT stern and crass? She missed Molly. Her beautiful coat would be amazing by now. Mark’s image faded, and Molly came in. So playful and loving. They were a team. When Audrey disappeared, she had lain in bed and cried into Molly’s fur for days. Kathryn felt the tears hot on her cheeks again, and let them flow. She was tired. So tired. When the tears stopped, she got out of her bath, dried off and put on her nightgown. She chose a blue one to match her eyes, and Audrey’s. Exhausted, she fell asleep.  
Chakotay landed a double right hook into the bag in the Holodeck. He had been working out solidly for about two hours when he realized he wasn’t really exercising. He was punishing himself. He never wanted to cause Kathryn pain, and he had. He had never wanted to be the one who caused her tears, and he had. Twice now. He thought back to their kiss a month ago, when he had held her the first time and sworn to her she wasn’t alone. Had he failed in being there for her? They had been on New Earth, and he had related the story of the warrior to her. The words she had said that afternoon haunted him “I cant do this alone anymore.” He landed jab-hook combo into the bag as he felt her pain wash over him again.  
Chakotay grunted as he felt his muscles begin to fail. He collapsed to his knees. “I was wondering if you were going to stop, or have a stroke first.” Came a voice from a shadowy corner. B'Elanna stepped into the dim light and walked to her Maquis brother. She saw the pain and anger in his face, and her Klingon sense wanted to slaughter whatever or who ever had caused it. “I’m just relieving some pent up stress.” Chakotay said between breaths as he stood. His arms were heavy and sore, his chest felt as if it were on fire. He stood looking at B'Elanna silently. “I can see that. But is it a work out or punishment?” She asked the question with a half smile, and Chakotay dismissed his annoyance. He motioned to the gloves he wore, and she began to undo them. “I just feel like I’m making a few bad personal decisions.” He said as the first glove dropped next to his feet. “Well,” B'Elanna began, again with a smirk, “It’s not like we don’t have time for you to meditate and reflect on it.” As B'elanna finished with the second glove, Carey’s voice came through her Combadge. “I will be there in a minute.” She responded picking up the first glove and then handing them both to Chakotay. “Can I have a vacation?” She asked poking Chakotay in the ribs as they walked to the door. “There’s no rest for the wicked” he said as they went their separate ways.  
Chakotay returned to his quarters and went straight to the shower. As he let the heat ease his failed muscles, he thought about Kathryn. Their duties had kept them apart for the rest of the day. Was she asleep now? Had she cried anymore? His head spun with questions. He knew that he wanted to hold her. He wanted her to feel safe with him. As he stepped out of the shower, the necklace he wore turned stone cold. At first he thought nothing of it. Then the stone began to glow. It had never glowed before that he knew of. His mother told him that when he found the one that would love him best, even if he felt it impossible, the stone would show him. The pale blue hue glowed against the skin of his chest. He had been thinking of Kathryn. Now he knew, that no matter what, he had to hold her again.  
Kathryn woke up with a jolt. She sat up and looked around. Her blankets were cast to the floor in what looked like a serpentine knot. She was sweating profusely. She carefully untangled her legs from her nightgown and made her way to the replicator. “Water, forty-seven degrees.” She choked out. Her mind was spinning from the nightmare, and her heart pounding in her chest. She sipped at the water, and tried to collect her thoughts. Mark had discarded her for someone else. The thought pained her, but only because she wasn’t really sure what would happen to Molly if that happened. A thought struck her then. She wasn’t sure if it was a cohesive thought or not, but it bloomed in her mind like a flower in spring. If she got back home, and found Audrey, she and Mark would break up. Mark had never wanted children. After Audrey disappeared, neither did she. She couldn’t survive if something happened again. She quickly wiped away a tear, set the glass on the table, and walked to her desk.  
Turning on the dim light, she opened the top left drawer, and pulled out the light blue picture frame with daisies around the edge. She straightened out her covers, and slid between the sheets again. The light from the stars behind her illuminated the picture of the two of them. It was the only picture she had with her of Audrey. Wiping away tears again, she kissed her fingertip and placed it on the glass over Audrey’s cheek. “Soon, my darling I will find you. I promise you. I will find you.” Kathryn laid down and let more tears flow as she fell asleep clutching the picture frame to her chest.


End file.
